First thing: The mystery has been solved thanks to boredom AND my awesome cousin. Sugar apple. Or Cherimoya? Here's a picture thanks to google images (oh, how I adore technology).
Now to the real topic: bad days
I'm not allowing them to exist. No, I'm not on the verge of a breakdown and using my blog as a place to vent. I'm just sharing the way I plan on making it through the year.
I have one year here (as of now). A fraction of my life. Roughly 365 days of adventures that might never happen again. I've had a month filled w/ english camps where I had one major breakdown before my family left. Vacation in Thailand. Solitary confinement. Ok, not really, but it sort of feels like that at times until I snap myself out of thinking that way. Ever since I got back from Thailand I've been somewhat alone in my apartment. I haven't been busy or surrounded by people like the first month and a half out here. It was nice the first day, then it got boring. So I decided I was going to change that. That's it. Just one decision to turn it all around.
I have had one week, and have another to go, where the majority of my time is spent alone. For some people that might be insanity. For others it could be paradise. For me, it's a mix of both. I decided I need to use this time wisely. Once school starts and things get busier, I'll wish I had days with nothing to do. So why not take advantage of it all right now while I can? This led to me unintentionally developing the mindset that I hope will make this year unbelievable. So I decided that bad days just won't exist.
Homesickness won't take advantage of me.
Culture shock won't cause me to retreat from life.
Stress won't overwhelm me.
Language barriers won't stay up for long.
Loneliness won't exist.
Bad days won't happen.
Family and friends will be there when I get back. I have skype, email, blah blah blah, all that stuff to keep in contact. Culture shock will come. I know it will. But I'm not going to let it derail all that I plan to accomplish this year. I'm pretty good at managing stress. I want to learn the language. I have plenty of people here who love me so there's no excuse to be lonely.
Free time is my growth time. I've spent the last few days listening to 'talk's from The Father's House summer series. I've been taking notes and really trying to figure out what things I need to change and what I can learn to make this year productive for His kingdom. If I think I need time to just breathe, then my free time can be breathing time. If I am feeling like I'm losing focus, then free time becomes a time to be filled again.
I can't let myself dwell on anything negative. No thoughts of how things would be if I were back in the states. I'm not there. I can't live where I used to be or where I will be. I have to live where I am. Every day is presenting opportunities and, if I'm somewhere else mentally, I'll miss out on what's right in front of me. Just this morning I was supposed to skype with my family but an opportunity to go have lunch with someone came up and I chose to take that. Developing relationships here, where I am, isn't worth passing up. I love my family and I love being able to see them, but I'll have plenty of time for that this year. How often will I get to go to this person's home and spend quality time w/ them? Who knows.
So that's my outlook. No bad days. I won't have them. I could easily choose to find the negative in my day and let it drag the whole day down, but I won't. Life out here is great. It's different and new and fun and I'm going to choose to love it because I won't have it forever.